General Category > General Scottish
Scottish Jokes
Graham Thompson:
thats halarious
Stirling Thompson:
A little something for the hopeless romantics!
A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands and gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently.
Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin'...perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee cuddle." The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds.
Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg."
The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then he blushed. The the two turned once again to gaze out over the lock before the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man glanced down with a furled brow. "Well, noo," he said, "my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time." "Really?" said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation. "Aye," said the lad, nodding. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.
Then he said, "Dae ye nae think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"
Donna:
Stu, these are so funny! I hope I dont mess them up too bad when I try to retell them!
Donna:
I was born in California and may never actually set foot in Scotland, but the sound of the bagpipes is as soothing to me as my Mothers voice!
Donna
Donna:
Have y'all heard of boiling wool mittens to make them water proof? I read about this in one of my "Nothing Better To Do With Your Time" books, so tonight I tried it.
I put some liquid dish washing soap and the mittens in a large pot of water and turned the stove up to HIGH.
I was so wrapped up in "cooking" the mittens that I didn't notice all the smoke coming from the microwave...my LAST bag of microwave popcorn was burned to a crisp! MY LAST BAG!!!!!
Now, I was so wrapped up in getting rid of the popcorn before it set the smoke alarm off that I didn't notice all the soap bubbles boiling over onto my stove!
I'm upset because I really wanted that popcorn and I don't even know why I thought I needed "waterproof" mittens...I live in sunny California!
Now I'm going to drink a wine glass full of Captain Morgan's Coconut Rum, then go to bed.
Donna
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